After returning from the wedding and honeymoon, I had just five days of work left, time I would spend cleaning up the office, tying up loose ends, getting down on paper what it is I do all day to help with the transition. Little did I know I’d be blessed with two more messages from my favorite wacky caller, Karen. These messages, which I’m sad to say will probably be the last I receive, are the ninth and tenth messages in an illustrious series of rants that examine all sorts of thought-provoking issues like poisoned water, the role of the B-52s in moral corruption, and the cast of “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.” I think she’s even making a joke in this message with her opening line; she’s getting more comfortable with my voicemail as time goes on.

Naples Slim-Fast Dehydration Program
(548 kb mp3, 1:33)

Hi, it’s Karen from Naples, Florida, on the Naples Slim-Fast Dehydration Program, but the reason I’m calling is check this out: we were colonized by England. The first twelve presidents were English. Abraham Lincoln was assassinated at a stage show. Photography was used during the Civil War. Coolridge [sic] looked like Bob Hope, Eisenhower like Walter Cronkite. Once again we need to check the accuracy of what’s going on within the world politically. Check out Playbill, Volume 95, Number 8, August 1995. Walter Cronkite narrated this. In the “H” you see the Twin Towers, 2, money, Mayans. Was it – and the Mayan below -looks like the present day cast of actors involved in the terrorist planned event five years prior to the downing. Also, a magazine called Elite Traveler, look at plus or minus six months to the 9/11 occurrence, I believe that these are the political “stars” involved in present-day TV operations and the kamikaze incidences where the planes for 9/11 and the downing of the Pentagon originated out of Boston, and that these people have been involved in interactive witchcraft, and that some moral people who know how Salem activities, smoke, can, sorta, y’know, put a finger on ’em. Thank you, have a great day.