It’s time for my yearly National Opinion Survey, apparently. Last year, I took one on paper and then actually got a visit from a pollster, who sat with me in my hallway showing me magazines, asking if I ever read them. This time it looks like it’s a bit simpler; last week I received a survey and a crisp ten dollar bill in the mail to convince me to finish it. Yesterday, I did just that, and found some pretty amazing discoveries. The questions were spilt up in a very strange way: the first four about product purchasing habits (talking about cosmetics with friends), two about cellphone carriers, four about “giving advice on websites to visit,” six about magazine advertisements, four about car preferences, one about technology, and three about Ralph Lauren (?) – you get the picture. My favorite instruction: “If played any lottery games, answer Q3 – Q7, otherwise go to next section, “Beer.”

My favorite series of questions came at the end of the “Chocolate” section. “8. Who was with you when you ate the CHOCOLATE?
9. Including yourself, how many people were with you when you ate the CHOCOLATE?” I proudly answered “a.) By myself, alone” for each.

I don’t know if by answering this survey I’ll get myself in line for another in-person interview; I don’t even know how I got involved in this in the first place. The ten they sent sure is crisp, though.