So I managed to finish the great Mediamark Inquisition of 2003 tonight, thanks to the fact that I watch no tv, have no children, don’t speak Spanish, don’t own my own home, and eat out a lot. That combination of factors made it easy to ignore most of the questions, especially ones as detailed as: “Which segments of “The Today Show” did you watch yesterday?

1. Animals/Nature (Jim Fowler)
2. Concert Series
3. Consumer Reports (Janice Lieberman)
4. Critic’s Corner with Gene Shalit
5. Entertainment News with Jill Rappaport
6. Wedding Series
7. Jean Shatsky and Suze Ormond on the Economy
8. Leonard’s Look with Mike Leonard

And on, and on. And that’s just “The Today Show.” Yesterday.

My favorite categories in the Food section: Cornish Hens, Liver Sausage (Liverwurst), Meat Snacks, Cents Off Coupons, Packaged Instant Potatoes, Salt Alternatives (sounds like a high school peer group), Pectins (?!), Baking Coconut (an entire category?), and the big daddy, Complete Packaged Prepared Dishes & Dinner Mixes. Give it up for Ramen, which apparently falls into that category.